Simmal Blog
December 2007
27/12/2007
With hope in your hearts
Jacqui from Sales Admin, big Liverpool fan, well not big in that sense, very svelte actually leading the revellers in the well known Kop anthem, "You'll never walk alone"
27/12/2007
Sleeping Beauty
Iron man Adrian fuller, showing his age taking a quick forty winks before the Take That medley kicked in!
27/12/2007
Pole Dancer
"Paul it doesn't matter how many times I go round with the hat...it still comes back empty!"
27/12/2007
Dirty Dancing
No body puts baby in the corner....Purchasing Manager Chris Lever plays hard to get!
27/12/2007
Christmas Knees up
Well though not everyone could make the get together on the Saturday before Christmas, a good time was had by all, a better time by some...here below are some of the high lights!
27/12/2007
Cheers for Ellis
Song and dance man Ellis Cheers reprises his success in the evenings X Factor competition
27/12/2007
And the winner is........
A wide eyed Tony Mcguire shows off his winning prizes in the nights raffle draw
21/12/2007
Indian Surprise at the Home of Aluminium
Forget Ant & Dec’s Saturday Night Takeaway, and big ups, for Hasan and Saba’s Thursday afternoon one instead. Hasan our engineering supremo’s wonderful wife Saba treated the entire Oakshott team to an amazing home cooked Indian Banquet to mark the festival of Id. Sumptuous doesn’t even come close, and everyone gorged themselves full…Gordon Ramsay, eat your heart out…but best done with some of Saba’s Biriyani curry sauce…Saba we salute you…
Coming soon Neil Hamilton, AKA’s world’s cleverest man’s New Year Address…don’t miss this sobering missive from the great man himself…
18/12/2007
Flying south for the Winter
G’day, the 17th of November had come around so quickly and before we knew it we were off on our journey to Australia in a search of the fountain for the Amber Nectar.
We left for Oz at the beginning of “Im a Celebrity get me out of here” and we were so pleased that aeroplanes were allowed to land in Oz and not everyone had to Bungee jump in or chew on a Kangaroos Anus to enter the country.
18 hours in the air and we finally touched down into a rather Breezy Perth in Western Australia, we were greeted by our friends who had emigrated there three years ago, it was clear by the way they were dressed the locals had influenced them, with their surfing shorts and flip flops, or as the local term goes “thongs,” this disappointed me slightly because in previous phone calls to our friends Down Under, they had informed me that everybody wears Thongs, they were also very good at turning every sentence into a question? When they speak and go up at the end of a sentence?
We stayed in the small town of Australind which is on the coast over looking the Indian Ocean; the town is situated two hours drive south of Perth and a 20 minute drive from Bunbury which is the nearest City, total grid lock is declared when ten cars are queued at a junction.
We were always on the look out for Australia’s deadliest insects after listening to horror stories, we wouldn’t perch ourselves on the Dunny without checking for a red back or funnel web spider, and we would always pull back the covers at night to check for the unthinkable. A week passed by and we realised that the insects in Oz are not out to cause you any harm but would just prefer to do their own thing.
Then it appeared eight inches in length the biggest, the ugliest grass hopper you have ever seen, after its course of steroids it was up for a fight, it ran across the dining table sending beer cans and wine glasses flying and it was heading straight for me, then WALLOP! death by thong, in one swift movement my friend had taken his flip flop off and stopped it in its tracks, that must be why they all wear thongs, I would have still been untying my shoes.
Just to mention a few local places we visited, there was the small city of Bunbury which has everything you need, shops, bars, restaurants, a picturesque marina and most of all a buzzing night life, rare in those parts. We visited the near by town of Mandara, which boasts a Millionaire’s marina with oversized yacht’s moored up outside their water front mansions on the Venice style canals leading into the Indian Ocean. A two hour drive took us out to the very popular Fremantle a step back in time with the old style buildings, very popular markets and street entertainers. There are a few wineries scattered around for an alcoholic’s day trip or two which unfortunately we missed because of the night before, I must have been heavily intoxicated because we were singing along to Busted until the early hours, O dear. We couldn’t have missed home too much because we visited the long golden sands of “Preston Beach” and wait for it the road near to Preston Beach was called “Ellis Road” and it doesn’t end there, one of the boats that passed us when we took a trip around the marina at Mandara was actually called “Cheers,” Was it just a coincidence or a calling?
We visited some amazing places and met some very interesting people and can see why so many people love Australia, it is a fantastic way of life and the people are very friendly and helpful. The ocean views and wildlife on your doorstep are overwhelming and the vast untouched country side that stretches for hundreds of miles is mind blowing, not to mention the lovely golden beaches with the surf crashing on the sands. If you do pay a visit don’t worry about the insects or the reptiles and the locals don’t hate us as we are led to believe, but it’s the so called friendly Kangaroos that will do you harm if they were having a bad fur day, and you wouldn’t out run one of those. Often seen congregating in the fields at dusk and dawn, they rule the local area and have often been spotted hanging around in gardens, Australia’s very own Hoodies.
A key ring we spotted in a gift shop summed it up for us, it read; “Australia, it’s a bloody long way, but worth a visit,”
Ellis Cheers,
Simmal Preston
Ellis is pictured left dressed for his day job
05/12/2007
Speed dating with Lucia Danielle Westhead
Lucia is currently working with us on a temporary basis in the financial area and Purchasing, and as a chauvinistic sexist was heard to say she is well fit and a bit posh too.
Where do you live?
Lostock, with my parents. I have a brother and (in Falmouth) and a sister in France who owns a ski school in the Alps with her French (mmm no comments please) husband.
Are you single, married, attached, looking or desperate?
Looking but verging towards desperate
Education
I graduated from Liverpool this year with a 2:1 in History and Politics
What is your biggest get out at Darts?
Mmm, don’t know, just can’t remember at the moment but double one rings a bell
Favourite double
Gin and tonic
Do you think darts gets the international sporting recognition it deserves?
No
Phil the Power or Ray Barney Barneveld?
Oh Phil the Power bien sur (I think she was showing off here)
What qualities do you like in people?
A ready smile, good sense of humour, and confidence, oh plus a million in the bank and looks like Brad Pitt (shallow end this way)
Qualities you dislike in people?
Miserable, pessimists a bit like ******** (censored)
Qualities you like in you
I’m happy, smiley, positive and a good time girl!
Looks or personality?
Looks first, personality second
Brains or sense of humour
Sense of humour
Favourite food Chinese or Indian?
Both, hot and spicy like me
Girl’s girl or ladette?
Girl’s girl but a ladette when the booze flows
Pet as a child
A poodle called Holly
What makes you angry?
Women drivers
What’s good at Simmal?
Teamwork and the way people focus
What’s not good?
Can be a bit chilly some days
Beer or shorts
Anything that’s going
Tabloid or Broadsheet
Broadsheet
Who is your hero (heroine)?
Audrey Hepburn
First poster on your wall
Flipper
What do you want for Christmas?
A Guess watch
What do you want for the future?
To be happy and successful
Dark chocolate or light?
Light
Dress or jeans?
Dress
Manchester or Liverpool?
Both Manchester for shopping, Liverpool for getting slaughtered
Earliest memory
Can’t remember anything before I was 12, I think I am a bit like Matt Damon in the Bourne Supremacy. It will all come out some time in the future no doubt.
Most sentimental possession?
Ring from Mum and Dad
Sports player or couch potato?
Sporty
Proudest achievement?
My Graduation
Last book you read?
I read Nelson Mandela’s biography to impress people, but sacked it in favour of Rom coms as soon as no one was about
Perfect day?
Shopping
Perfect night in?
Strictly come Dancing and a bottle of red..
Favourite film?
Breakfast at Tiffany’s
Who is your best friend?
My mum because she is, and Emily because she knows all my skeletons so I’d better not fall out with her
Death penalty or life imprisonment?
Death penalty
Cooked breakfast or continental?
Cooked
Have you ever parked in a disabled bay?
All the time
Ant or Dec?
Dec
Nickname as a child?
Lucky
Describe yourself in one sentence…I’m happy, smiley and positive (bit desperate but 3 our of 4 aint bad….)
05/12/2007
A tale of two divergent forces fighting for the hand of the maiden through the medium of quality. Oh to the tune of Ernie the fastest Milkman
You could hear his footsteps pound
As he raced across the ground
And the rustle of his paperwork as non conformances he found
As he galloped in to Ranglet Road
His badge up on his chest
His name was Neil, code name 9001
And he was the finest lead assessor in the west (of Blackburn that is)
For Sue though he had a rival, a handsome looking chap, John Simmons
Who’d met Sue in the office
When she used to sit upon his lap
But not to be beaten,
Neil feted Sue with his C of C’s and his Beetle GTE
And when she espied the size
Of his QP5, she went all weak at the knees
Well both knew they had a fight on their hands
It wasn’t just a game
Because much as Neil tried to change things
John would do them just the same
You could sense the tension in the air
The coming battle too of course
Because though John may have had the purse strings
Obi Neil he had the force
The stood each end of Ranglet Road
The atmosphere, you could cut it with a knife
Neil lunged for his QA Manual, John rolled up the Country Life
But Neil was too quick for him
Things didn’t go the way John planned
And a pile of non conformances sent John spinning from Neil’s hand
That tickled old Neil the finest lead assessor in the west (of Blackburn)
Neil sensed victory near at hand
John’s face took on a frown
He reached for a piece of slatwall
But tripped on the forklift which was as usual broken down
He swung a length of flat bar one last effort as they fought
But it missed Neil’s head by inches as George had cut them short
So remember if you’re down Preston way
Drop in and see the sight
Of John following a system
Put in by Neil Obi One Kenobi, our Jedi Knight
A tale of a titanic.struggle between two divergent forces, for the hand of the maiden, told through the medium of quality
Neil pictured left
01/12/2007
She’s a perfect 10
Super, super trooper, super model and big time Abba fan (? Mama Mia, here I go again ?) Jennifer Atkins is Simmal’s own queen of the catwalk. Body like Naomi Campbell brain like Mengis Campbell, Jen does fortunately get out of bed for marginally less than £10k per day. A Business and Marketing Graduate from Bangor, her career started at Caudwell Communications, home of phones for you, before joining Pet World, where her “we have the left bones for you” slogan, has redefined canine catering and cuisine to a nation of dog lovers for generations to come. Jen’s partner, Denzil (the name has been changed to protect the innocent) disliked teenagers so much, he not only opted for a career in teaching, but chose a science subject to maximise their suffering! Jen likes to socialise, and as the youngest of 3 siblings, ergo the most indulged, does if the Simmal rumour mill is to be believed, display diva like behaviour on occasion. Liking easy going people, but not liking selfish people, Jen professes to watch neither Strictly Come Dancing or X Factor (surely some mistake Ed?) Best thing about Simmal, proximity to home, worse thing, here’s a clue Brrrrr…She likes fantasy literature (don’t we all) and if she could change one thing it would be to make the streets safer at night. Jen has had a thorough grounding in sales admin and this is intended to spring board her towards her chosen direction of accountancy. With this in mind she will next year begin working towards a professional qualification with us…we wish her well…
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