Simmal Blog
April 2008
22/04/2008
♫ All sit down all sit down sit down next to me ♫….or not as the case may be
Ubiquitous uber alpha female, weekend warriorette and part time pole dancing party planner Lucia “LBW” Westhead (duhhh cos she bowls men over innit, pictured left) refused to answer questions concerning the Gala seating plan when doorstepped by local journos at her Leyland love palace. The luscious lovely, under extreme pressure remained tight lipped saying only, “we are in delicate negotiations currently over photographic rights with Hello and OK magazines and to reveal more would serve only to jeopardize a satisfactory conclusion.” Under currents of don’t sit me next to him followed by an out break of associated graffiti “let people sit where they want” “freedom to choose” “say no to segregation” and a disappointing “Kilroy was here” rounded of a difficult day for the gorgeous and gifted graduate.
This is Jacqui Newton our diplomatic correspondent for News at Simmal at the home of aluminium
01/04/2008
Don't call me scar face
In response to his second horrific facial injury of the year Chelsea keeper Petr Cech sought out Simmal problem solver and celebrity fashionista Neil Hamilton (AKA world’s cleverest man) to engineer a design solution. The end product pictured left based on traditional medieval wear is made from lightweight fabricated aluminium and machined parts. Affording superb protection Neil’s creation combines boho chic and is a stunning addition to his fashion forward label“so next year darling” Very soon all other suits of armour will be a thing of the past.
This is Jacqui Newton our catwalk correspondent, for News at Simmal at the Home of Aluminium
01/04/2008
George & Mildred
It is time for our annual Spring Spot the difference Competition
“One of these has two black eyes, is partially house trained, and likes being led around on a lead on all fours, whilst being chastised for being a naughty boy…the other is a canine” Study the picture below and send answers on a postcard to ithinkitistheoneontheleft@simmal.co.uk
01/04/2008
♫Love is in the air♫
Gossip abounded this week concerning the lunchtime love shenanigans of aging Lancashire lothario, Tony the T bone Rawlings. T bone, has been acting furtively for some days now, against a backdrop of intimate phone calls, a litany of emails and a veritable procession of heart shaped post it notes, sent to an as yet unidentified member of staff (we think female). Rumours of a rendezvous in the nearby Asda car park with aforementioned unidentified female remain as yet unconfirmed but are nonetheless gathering momentum. Whispers of steamed up windows and Barry Manilow's Copacabana playing in the background, were flatly denied by a tight lipped family member yesterday. Meanwhile, “keep off the Sherry” T shirts are flying off the Bamber Bridge clothing store shelves.
This is Jacqui Newton, our HR correspondent, for News at Simmal, at the home of love and romance.
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