Simmal Blog
May 2009
01/05/2009
♫ And now the end is nigh ♫
Neil Hamilton AKA’s world’s cleverest man and renowned expert on pandemic illness (pictured earlier today arriving at work) issued a strongly worded calm down message to his many devotees in the wake of the global swine fever alert. A normally tight lipped Neil, door-stepped by New Scientist magazine at his Hindley Laboratories, was stoic in defence of his position; “this is a load of old tish tosh circulated by a melee of Guardian Readers and people who speak loudly in restaurants and cannot be taken seriously” remonstrated the great man, adding however that his own brand of fashionable bio suits are now available direct from www.atishooatishooweallfalldown.com
This is Professor Lucia LBW Westhead our Bio Hazard expert for News at Simmal at the home of Aluminium
01/05/2009
♫ Best days of your life ♫ Kellie Pickler
Everyone’s favourite head turner, posh bird Lucia Westhead is on the move, see pic left. No not from the home of aluminium, but away from the people who have nurtured her, cared for her, supervised her, (no not her social workers or probation officers) nursed her, fed, clothed, and educated her, worked 3 jobs each so she could have a wendy house when she was 16, taught her to ride a bike, fly a kite, creosote a fence, lay land drains, learn the 100 most eligible bachelor list by heart, read her bed time stories and even put elastoplasts on her saggy knee caps when she fell off her pony….no,us, her parents, gratitude eh, all this for your kids and they just walk out and abandon you.
This is Lucia’s heartbroken parents,singing "Someday we'll be together" from our midnight vigil at the scene of our hunger strike for News at Simmal at the home of the Aluminium and the sadly parentally disenfranchised
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