Simmal Blog
September 2009
03/09/2009
Just William
Young William Simmons, second in line to the throne, showed Jamie Oliver a clean pair of heels, under the culinary tutelage of Bamber Baker Margaret Moore recently. Two outstanding creations were the result of an arduous morning session. One a birthday cake to mark his mother’s *** birthday (some boundaries we just don’t breach) the second a sculpted dinosaur extracted using 3D geometry. The dinosaur was subsequently correctly identified by Neil Hamilton, AKA world’s cleverest man and renowned paleontologist as a Plesiosaur, closely related to none other than the Loch Ness Monster. Connections between this and William's mother were dismissed at a later press conference, with one being identified as scary, fire breathing and over 2000 years old, and the other as a monster that lived in Loch Ness….."
01/09/2009
♫You’ll never walk alone♫…
Well Dylan Bilsbrough didn’t when trialing at Liverpool FC’s Melwood Training Ground recently. Dylan, son of Lee Pepperell’s partner Nikkie was drafted in during Steve Gerrard’s court case to provide cover should the Liverpool Supremo have received the 5 stretch courtesy of Her Majesty’s judiciary his behaviour richly deserved. After a typical Liverpool training session involving diving in the penalty area, abusing the officials and lessons in how to dress ridiculously, Dylan was offered a five year contract, a boot deal, a McLaren Pll and a weekend with Danielle Lloyd..
This is Neil Markham our football correspondent for News at Simmal at the Home of Aluminium
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